Everyone interprets Valentine’s Day in their own way. There are those who plan romantic dinners in advance with their significant other and those who prefer to drink. Guess which category I put myself in.
Yes, the girl who grew up watching prince charming sweep a poor girl off her feet in virtually every Disney animated classic doesn’t believe in love. Ironically, the only the time she feels love is when Jack and Rose have a three-day long affair before one of them dies of hypothermia in the Atlantic Ocean. Don’t ask me why this makes sense.
Either way, this Friday is Valentine’s Day, and I’m going to be drunk. It’s the best time to gather your single friends and cause a scene at the local bar(s).
This year, I’m celebrating the special day with my roommate and the girl who introduced us. My best friend from college is coming into town to experience LA for the first time! Will a romantic dinner in Manhattan Beach and a limo ride to a trashy bar beat out my all-time favorite Valentine’s memory? The epic bar crawl of 2012? See below. Flight was cancelled. Trip was cancelled. Thanks, winter storm Pax.
If going out and drinking enormous amounts of tequila isn’t really your style and you’d rather stay in and wallow, then this blog is for you. Here my choices for best ways to stay sad on Valentine’s Day. Grab a bottle of wine, make a heart shaped cake, and make the conscious decision to never believe in long-lasting love.
*Note: All of these films have torn me apart in one way or another.
My take: Love may exist, but it’s not going to last.
“You always hurt the ones you love. The ones you shouldn’t hurt at all. You always take the sweetest rose and crush it until the petals fall. You always break the kindest hearts with a hasty word you can’t recall. So if I broke your heart last night it’s because I love you most of all.”
“I feel like men are more romantic than women. When we get married we marry, like, one girl, ‘cause we’re resistant the whole way until we meet one girl, and we think I’d be an idiot if I didn’t marry this girl. But it seems like girls get to a place where they just kinda pick the best option… ‘Oh he’s got a good job.’ I mean they spend their whole life looking for Prince Charming and then they marry the guy who’s got a good job and is gonna stick around.”
Don’t have time for the whole movie?: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e36DNjn4kCQ
(500) Days of Summer
My take: No matter how much you like each other or how much fun you have together, you’re probably not on the same page.
“I don’t actually feel comfortable being anyone’s anything, you know. Relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt.”
“I need to know that you’re not going to wake up in the morning… and… feel differently.”
Don’t have time for the whole movie?: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-xJ15AN9ts
My take: Pretty much Titanic 2. Never give up on your dreams or else everything else in your life is also going to fall apart.
“Tell me the truth, Frank, remember that? We used to live by it. And you know what’s so good about the truth? Everyone knows what it is however long they’ve lived without it. No one forgets the truth, Frank, they just get better at lying.”
“I wanted IN. I just wanted us to live again. For years I thought we’ve shared this secret that we would be wonderful in the world. I don’t know exactly how, but just the possibility kept me hoping. How pathetic is that? So stupid. To put all your hopes in a promise that was never made.”
Don’t have time for the whole movie?: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2lTpPptOWA
My take: Everyone cheats.
“It’s a lie. It’s a bunch of sad strangers photographed beautifully, and… all the glittering assholes who appreciate art say it’s beautiful ’cause that’s what they wanna see. But the people in the photos are sad, and alone… But the pictures make the world seem beautiful, so… the exhibition is reassuring which makes it a lie, and everyone loves a big fat lie.”
Dan: I fell in love with her, Alice.
Alice: Oh, as if you had no choice? There’s a moment, there’s always a moment, “I can do this, I can give into this, or I can resist it”, and I don’t know when your moment was, but I bet you there was one.
Don’t have time for the whole movie?: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbeXU9FIFw8
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
My take: Getting back together is never a good thing.
“Constantly talking isn’t necessarily communicating.”
“What a loss to spend that much time with someone, only to find out that she’s a stranger.”
Don’t have time for the whole movie?: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qpux-Drk6EY
My take: Relationships are impossible if you love emotionless sex as much as this guy.
Depressing Quotes: This movie has barely any speaking. That’s what’s so depressing.
Don’t have time for the whole movie?: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-sU8GWoD3w
My take: People are psychos. Also, don’t cheat on your wife.
Dan: You’re so sad. You know that, Alex? Lonely and very sad.
Alex: Don’t you ever pity me, you smug bastard.
Dan: I’ll pity you… I’ll pity you. I’ll pity you because you’re sick.
Dan: Why? Because I won’t allow you treat me like some slut you can just bang a couple of times and throw in the garbage?
Don’t have time for the whole movie?: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JS6Gw6NVgRg
The Way We Were
My take: Your girl is lovely, Hubbell. EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO LOCK MYSELF IN THE BATHROOM AND CRY.
“If I push too hard it’s because I want things to be better, I want us to be better, I want you to be better. Sure I make waves you have I mean you have to. And I’ll keep making them till your everything you should be and will be. You’ll never find anyone as good for you as I am, to believe in you as much as I do or to love you as much.”
Katie: Wouldn’t it be lovely if we were old? We’d have survived all this. Everything thing would be easy and uncomplicated; the way it was when we were young.
Hubbell: Katie, it was never uncomplicated.
Don’t have time for the whole movie?: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjGCRhWJsc8
My take: Wouldn’t be one of my lists without a little Hitchcock or Jimmy Stewart. A love that was meant to end in tragedy.
Judy: If I let you change me, will that do it? If I do what you tell me, will you love me?
Scottie:: Yes. Yes.
Judy: All right. All right then, I’ll do it. I don’t care anymore about me.
Don’t have time for the whole movie?: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tesqTwX7cpc